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Jun 082018

I whined, bitched, and complained about the first episode of Nyarlko a few weeks ago, and rightfully so. That damn episode fucking sucked, and I figured the rest of the series was gonna suck as well.

Then I watched the next two episodes. It ain’t awesome or anything, but it’s back up to the same level of the original OAV episodes.

Each of these episodes introduces a new Outer God/Great Old One in chick clothing. Episode two brings us the moeification of Atlach-Nacha, the spider being whose shtick in the Mythos is spinning a web which, upon completion, will signify the end of the universe. Somehow said being has been corrupted into Atoko, a chick in a kimono who gets off on talking like a dirty old man. This leads to an amusing gag in the third episode, where she’s berating Cthuko for her unrequited love of Nyarlko. The fact that half the conversation is bleeped out, so you can fill in the blanks like some sort of non-euclidean Mad Lib, makes it pretty amusing. Some of the bleeps last a little too long for anything that immediately comes to mind, so who knows what the fuck she’s talking about. Maybe Elder God Sex has far more possibilities as far as perverse, not-safe-for-work shit goes, making it necessary for the extra-long bleeps. I wouldn’t be surprised.

What’s a bit more interesting, concept-wise, is the Outer God introduced in the third episode: Nyarle. I was wondering what was up with this chick in the opening/ending/whatever, since she has the same hair color and antenna-hair sticking out of the top of her head as Nyarlko, and her name says it all. See, Nyarlathotep is the sort of being that has many aspects to himself. Depending on the situation, he takes on a different “Mask,” but I can’t think of a situation where two or more of these avatars have been in the same place at the same time. Seeing how Nyarle’s appearance is very similar to Nyarlko’s, as well as her name matching up even moreso than Nyarlko’s with their parent god, I gotta assume that they’re both “Masks” of Nyarlathotep.

This is another one of those little tidbits that appeals to a Cthulhu nut like myself. Nyarlko and Nyarle may look alike, but they have different personalities. Granted, said personalities boil down to broad moe stereotypes, but they’re distinct from one another and don’t really overlap based on the minute or so we saw them together. Nyarlathotep’s “Masks” very often have little similarities with one another outside of a penchant for “darkness.” That is, Lovecraft was a fucking racist and everything that was evil had dark skin. But yeah, having Nyarlko and Nyarle share the same hair color and such is a little not to how these Masks function.

I also dug how Nyarle was conflicted as to whether she was “allowed” to love the main dude. This is assumedly because Nyarlko also digs the dude, so she’s wondering if it’s OK for her to muscle in on the territory of an aspect of herself. The same but different but blahblahblah. Shame that these episodes are TWO MINUTES LONG AT MOST so we can’t actually see if there’s anything to my inane conspiracy theories.

So yeah, I’m certainly took me longer to write this post than it took me to watch the damn episode, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it takes you longer to read it than it did for you to watch the damn episode (assuming you’re even bothering with this damn series). Whatever, man, it’s motherfucking Cthulhu here. I’ll find ways to fucking dig this shit, no matter how much SAN I lose in the process.

Haiyore! Nyarlko-san is My Biography (and I Wanna Sue)

 Anime, Haiyore! Nyaruko-San  Comments Off on Haiyore! Nyarlko-san is My Biography (and I Wanna Sue)
Apr 092012

My first blog post was me getting excited about the original flash animated Nyarlko-san series. I was all “OMG this is gonna be all awesome and shit” and then it turned out to be kinda mediocre. It had some good gags and everything, but it wasn’t anything special.

So I still didn’t have my dream anime about Elder Gods parading around as little school girls, and to make matters worse that flash anime tossed out all sorts of neat-sounding tidbits about the actual story that got me even more interested in it. So I must have done something right in this lifetime, since someone decided to go ahead and make a “proper” anime out of this thing.

And. Well. Yeah. I wanna sue these guys for taking my life and turning it into an anime without my permission.

Metaphorically speaking, of course. I never hung out with Nyarlathotep in girl form while in high school. Some of the girls I knew may have been kinda like Yog-Sothoth or Hastur, but never The Crawling Chaos itself. But I wrote weird shit that my high school self would consider on par with that King in Yellow shit and I had delusions of being the target of otherworldly forces out to nab me and whisk me away to some distant world because I was that improbable Main Character.

Which is to say the main dude’s plight in this series is pretty much my ideal wish-fulfillment scenario from high school. It has the “magical girlfriend” shit, but she’s some evil alien deity. Even in my less cynical youth I’d have found that far more appealing that, say, Belldandy or any of the Tenchi girls. And the main dude isn’t a wet blanket blank slate type. He has spunk, even if it takes the form of outright violence-by-fork. He’s still that anime lead prototype dude, but he’s one that I would have gravitated towards far more easily back in the day when I was craving this sort of “put myself into the story” scenario.

So Nyarlko’s appealing to me on that level. It’s basically the Tenchi Muyo I wish I had back in 1995. It appeals to the dorky dateless  loser and the dorky table top RPGer

Yeah, they’re the same thing. Various Masks of the Elder God that is Nerdathutep.

And go read up on my old Nyarlko posts. Everything I said there pretty much applies here. It’s a lot of the same gags. The only real difference is that they’ve been given some semblance of context. That’s a difference maker for some people, so maybe peeps’ll like this series more than the flash version.

Also: I loved how Nyarlko’s otaku rant basically stated that The Stars are Right because all of the Cthulhu Mythos is made up of otaku who are only on Earth for the anime and shit. That revelation made me lose 1d10 SAN.

Swan Lake

 Anime, Games, Haiyore! Nyaruko-San, Video Games  Comments Off on Swan Lake
Jan 162011

You know what. I’m gonna keep on writing about Nyarlko. Not because it’s good (although it’s gotten better). Nope. I’m gonna do this shit because no one else is doing it. That’s what the cool kids do, right?

Am I a hipster now, father? Father? Are you listening to me, father? FATHER!

So yeah. Evangelion shit and Cthulhu shit. Totally makes sense, since both are about breaking down like a little pussy in the face of horrific monstrosities from the great beyond that want to fuck up Earth for no damn good reason. Even when you have your own Elder God jacked up with super technology, and even if you’ve read all of those nasty tomes and got your Cthulhu Mythos and Library Use stats up to 99%, you still lose all of your SAN and lose the game.

But if you wanna talk about true madness, you gotta look at the WonderSwan reference. Dude. Seriously. WonderSwan? I know it did decently over in Asia and all, but really? Are the modern-day otaku that have been weaned on the DS and PSP gonna have any clue what that is? Isn’t that like someone busting out a Commodore or a ColecoVision on Big Bang Theory when the only old school system anyone would recognize is an Atari? Having the balls to bust out that reference should cost you 2d6 SAN minimum.

But  yeah, the WonderSwan is one of those unattainable artifacts that I always wanted, if only for the potential novelty of busting it out at school or at work, having people ask me something like “Hey, is that the new Gameboy,” only to look at them with a smug smirk and say “Oh, no, this is a motherfucking WonderSwan, biatch!” Except the barrier wasn’t really the money. It wasn’t like the Neo Geo of my youth, where the insane price was the sole thing keeping me from getting one. I could go to Babbage’s and gawk at a Neo Geo. The only way I could lust after a WonderSwan was if I looked longingly at web pages and shit. I guess I could have paid out the ass and imported one, but that shit is just as insane as the seeing it referenced in this anime.

Oh yeah, at that fish grew legs. That was perfectly normal and predictable. Especially given how much that obnoxious shounen griped about it before we finally saw the proverbial money shot punchline.