Danna ga Nani wo Itteiru ka Wakaranai Ken #1 & Cross Ange #1 & Madan no Ou to Vanadis #1, Oh My!

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Oct 062014
 

I’m watching Garo as I write this. Yeah, I might not have time to write everything, so quick thoughts on “I don’t understand what my husband is saying” and Cross Ange.

Danna ga Nani wo Itteiru ka Wakaranai Ken #1
A 3 and a half minute short. It’s about a newlywed couple where the husband is your stereotypical otaku loser dude. It opens up with their wedding and we get a series of anime references, such as Rurouni Kenshin (Samurai X) and Mahou Shoujo Magical Lyrical Nanoha. The choice of refences is kinda odd actually. I mean, I’m glad they’re not doing endless Gundam references, especially since we’ll be getting another series of Gundam Build Fighters soon. The Kenshin ref sorta made sense, but Nanoha? I dunno, the time period of these anime lead to suspect that the author’s appealing to a specific couple of age groups where those anime were their jam.

One thing I do like is that this newlywed couple have sex. Like, they outright stated that they had lotso sex after their wedding and the episode ends with them going to a love motel. For the former, it didn’t quite seem like a dream sequence where they didn’t actually do anything, and for the latter, I half expected that the wife thought they were gonna get bizzay but that the husband was looking at some otaku thing, but that dun seem like the case. So kudos for that.

It’s something of a pet peeve for me when newlywed characters not only don’t have sex, but where holding hands is treated like a big deal and the occasional kiss is given the same reverence as wifey agreeing to go kinky. Yeah, I’m looking at you, “I married a highschooler”, but not even counting that series, characters being chased despite already having gone steady (or the dude already having seen the whole package via “accidental” walk-ins), has become something of a pet peeve for me. If you’re not gonna be comfortable with each other, then don’t have the relationship already be where you’re already fucking married or otherwise engaged/exclusive.

Erm, but yeah, Danna ga Nani wo Itteiru ka Wakaranai Ken #1 is okay. Kinda lackluster to tell the truth. A day or two ago, I’d recommend it. But with this season’s shows coming out in earnest, you might wanna put this on the backburner.

Cross Ange #1
I haven’t actually watched this episode in full yet, but I did skim it. I liked the mechs at the start of the show. The main character of Angelise seems to be a princess whose overthrown by her brother and by the end of the episode, she’s a prison bitch whose name has been shortened to Ange in order to humiliate her. Also, she’s either been lesbian raped or given an involuntary proctology exam.

The art seemed nice from what I saw. The breasts in this show are fairly large but not to the point of absurdity.

I’m not really inclined to watch the episode in full though. Maybe if I’m REALLY bored. The whole prison bitch thing might have been hilarious if it was played up for laughs ala the DRAMA in Code Geass, but no, they play it tragically. Hey, if you’re in your early teens to early twenties, you might wanna catch Cross Ange for the risque bits, but y’know, this IS the internet, you’re better off just getting actual porn.

Welp, time for some Garo.

Edit: Madan no Ou to Vanadis #1
I haven’t actually watched Madan no Ou to Vanadis either. Like Cross Ange, I skimmed it. I woulda given it full viewing and a proper post, but we’re starting to get other shows with more potential right now.

I will say that my first impression ain’t that good. I like the knight designs I saw and it’s expected that female warriors get less armor. That’s just compliance to standard practices in fiction. Now, while I’m iffy on this whole thing seemingly being a really tired re-threading of the ol’ “we’re gonna superficially say women are strong individuals but we’re really gonna preach that women are useless lumps of tits without a man” genre, the thing that really makes me not wanna watch this show until I have nothing else to watch is simply the fact that the characters all look down on the main dude, who is basically anime Hawkeye from the Avengers, due to the fact that he’s an archer.

A… fucking… archer. What the hell’s wrong with an archer? If this show is something like Log Horizon where everyone’s trapped in a MMO and the Archer class is considered weak due to bugs or nerfs, sure. Or if this show was targetted at kids between 3 to 5, I’d get it. But it’s obviously targetted at at least the early teens due to all the cheesecake.

I can understand people thinking magic swords are superior to the bow and arrow, but they seriously want us to think archers are merely an incidental part of a medieval military? That’s just one of those things that are so blatantly dumb that it just kills my suspension of disbelief. And without that suspension of disbelief, I can’t help but nitpick over all the other flaws of a show, no matter how minor.

A big ol’ middle finger to this show’s dumb treatment of archers. Jazz hands!

Garo the Carved Seal of Flames #1 (live-ish)

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Oct 062014
 

No comics thingy or robot heads here. Too many stuff to review. Here’s Garo.

We open up with a pregnant woman tied at the stake, presumably they plan to burn her. Meanwhile, a king(?) is being wheeled through the halls of his keep. I note this because I dig the Olive Oil stick figure designs of his entourage.

Naturally, her baby is born as she’s being burnt. Because this is fiction. I do like that even the people burning her think it’s weird for a baby being born under such conditions.

Well, here comes Garo (or a variant). He really does look better as an anime. I wonder if they’ll retain his 99.9 seconds time limit? It’s pretty obvious that he had that time limit in the live action due entirely to budget constraints. But it’s something of a signature to Garo now.

A man who looks like Archer from Fate/stay Night gets ripped in half. First of all, people don’t rip like that. Second of all, that’s still hilarious.

With that, we’re treated to some “witch” huntings. I’m fairly certain these “witches” are just Horror hunters of various sorts though.

Okay, I’ve watched through the whole episode now. There’s a lot of exposition, but I don’t mind. It’s mostly done as pillow talk and there’s enough banter and interruptions in between that it doesn’t have that stilted feel that a lot of anime exposition fall prey to. The story it tells is pretty simple and obvious, but the delivery is fairly engaging for the length of the episode.

The action sequences remind me of the kinda thing you see in Claymore, only with a bit more feel of impact. Of course, there are some Garo sensations as well, such as when Garo runs through a burning building (it’d make sense if you’ve seen Garo).

One thing I really like is that the human form of Garo, barely speaks at all, and his voice is pretty deep too. It’s not the usual high pitchy whine of your usual journeyman hero.

In terms of the Garo design, it’s okay. Half his body is cracked and releasing flames. Perhaps there’s a story to that, like he’s a Half Horror or he’s got royal blood or something.

On the whole, I’m surprisingly pleased with this episode, but if there’s one thing that’s a bit of a brain fart is near the end. The queen gives her son an amulet she’s had since birth, and it’s the emblem of Garo, which shocks the minion of the obviously evil grand vizier. But considering this is an item the queen’s had for years, it really shouldn’t be such a relevation for the baddies.

It’ll be interesting to see what happens to the prince, Alfonso. He’s probably Garo’s half brother, will he also get an armor or will he become some sorta super Horror?

We shall see.

Edit: Oh, and the dad character seems pretty awesome. I’m pretty sure he figured out the whore’s a (w)Horror once her eyes glowed, but he’s still totally fine with fucking her.

Gugure! Kokkuri-san #1

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Oct 062014
 

Just finished Gugure! Kokkuri-san.

Yeah, fuck Bahamut and Garo. THIS is the best show of the season so far.

The ending sequence is pretty good too.

Edit: Although it did feel like it went on a tad long. Here’s a show that would have benefitted from a 10 minute format.

Tribe Cool Crew #1

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Oct 032014
 

Well this is a surprise. I actually finished this episode.

So, there’s this new show. Tribe Cool Crew, which is about this kid who’s crazy about dancing and this voyeur girl who’s a lil’ miss perfect type. The show’s totally for kids, at least, so far. And it has a feel much akin to those from children’s card games shows. The plot’s as trite as say, PriPara, and despite some nice fluid animation, there’s also quite a bit of recycling and the main dance sequences are done via cgi. Sorta like those from recent Pretty Cure end sequences.

What Tri-Cool does in order to “work” is to simply interject a lot more energy into an otherwise stale formula.

I dig this first episode and I almost kinda wanna watch the second ep, although I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone else.

Popeye the Sea(and/or Freshwater)farer Person

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Sep 302014
 

Anybody seen Genndy Tartakovsly’s Popeye short? It’s just a proof of concept thing. It’s been out for awhile and peeps say it’s pretty good. But me, I thought there was something really… off, about Popeye, and I wasn’t sure what. Well, now I do.

Rewatching the clip, I’ve finally noticed what it was that was bothering me. He has no fucking pipe. Goddamnfuckit! A closer inspection shows he also seems to be missing his tattoos. I realize this is just some sort of test animatic or whatever, but fuck this shit. And it’s not a matter of “The pipe and tattoos doesn’t make Popeye”. Fuck you, the pipe and tattoos totally makes Popeye. It’s like how the red underwear and basic desire to protect human life makes Superman.

I mean, anybody can be a fundamentalist racist. But you need the dunce-hat mask. Otherwise, you’re just a regular backward thinking bigot.

If you’re gonna be a pussy and take away Popeye’s pipe and tattoos, then don’t half ass it. Go all the way and give us Popeye Jr. Revel in the audacity, rather than wallow in mediocrity.

Also, how the hell is he gonna suck in his spinach? Okay, so he didn’t always eat his spinach through his pipe, but at the very least, wouldn’t he need it to go “toot-toot!”. Yes, he could just tug on the ship’s tooter or whatever you callit, but the pipe’s gotta be there to help punctuate the imagery.

So yeah, hopefully, if/when we get Popeye, he won’t be some watered down pussy.