May 312011

Pretty sure I’ve made this observation in another post:

It really annoys me that most anime characters have crappy flip-phones. Like, most anime centers around kids. Kids are gonna be into the newest shit. They like all that social media stuff. They wanna have iPhones and Androids and whatever else is out there. But anime characters are stuck in the early 00′s, going around with these cheap-ass phones that can barely send a text message so much as post to Facebook or whatever the preferred social site is in Japan.

It takes a progressive, forward-thinking anime about animals in a cafe to acknowledge that smartphones are the norm. It’s about damn time.

That scene in this week’s Polar Bear Cafe wasn’t quite as brilliant as last week’s questioning of one’s existence bit, but I got a big kick out of how they presented smartphones as something wholly mundane. You got the usual “how does this damn thing work” bit from Penguin while the others made him look like an old man by busting out some serious touchscreen moves. This wasn’t some Eden of the East bit where the only smartphones in existence patch you in with a mysterious benefactor who can pull all sorts of financial and political strings. It was just animal dudes messing around with a cool new piece of technology.

But all of that got me wondering. Do they have to make touchscreens design special for animals? I actually did the disgusting test and was able to push a few buttons on my iPhone with my tongue, but is the phone gonna be able to handle continuous exposure to saliva? I have an Otterbox for my phone, but Llama didn’t have anything protecting his phone. Do they make phones that can handle that sort of thing for the animal market? And Polar Bear’s claws aren’t exactly dull like a stylus. If he’s using his claws to touch the screen, isn’t the screen gonna get scratched up even with a flimsy screen protector? Maybe they use some high-grade scratch-resistant polymer for the screen or something.

And if this is the case, why don’t they take the limitations of penguins into consideration? Those flippers don’t have digits and don’t have the manual dexterity of a Llama tongue, and his beak was ineffective despite Polar Bear using an equally sharp and hard appendage. It’s obvious that Penguin is having a hard time with his phone more for his species limitations and not so much with his inexperience. So, do they not take birds into consideration when making these things? Is this a sign of mammalian supremacy at work? Do we need to have some protests from non-mammal species in order to get equal representation? Maybe we need an Avian and Reptile Rights Act to get equal access and accommodations.

Also, I loved how we found out Polar Bear does his pun act less out of a love for puns and more out of getting a reaction from his buddies. You marvelous bastard, Polar Bear. You’re awesome.

Also Also, as I was writing this post I was ragging on a buddy of mine who is a big My Little Pony fan (way more so than I am) and telling him that Polar Bear Cafe presents an animal-based society that’s far more progressive and equal than that of the ponies. MLP has a caste system while Polar Bear has a fully integrated society. Some species may seem a little less equal in Polar Bear, but there’s been some obvious advances. With MLP, it’s all about the pony totalitarian government and how they put down anyone without four hooves and a cutie mark.

Polar Bear Cafe is the progressive choice when it comes to animal cartoons.

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