Vampire Love is Better than Saving the World

 Anime, Kimera  Comments Off on Vampire Love is Better than Saving the World
Dec 292011

Kimera is one of those 90s OVAs that I never got around to. I’d pick up the VHS box, read the description, and say to myself “I’ll get it next time. If there isn’t anything else better to get.” That “next time” never happened, because there was always something seemingly more interesting right next to it.

Now that I’ve finally gotten around to watching it, I kinda wish I’d seen it back in the day. It isn’t the greatest sleazy 90s OVA, but it has enough craziness to it to make it worth watching.

Vampires are aliens. They’ve come to Earth before, but those nasty humans claimed they were demons and went around stabbing them with stakes and shit. So the alien vampires went back home, but they started to stagnate and stop reproducing. So they kidnap human women, turn them into Jenova from Final Fantasy, and use them to create vampire babies. Catch is, these vampire babies are genetic misfits. Apparently they either end up completely sexless, or they end up being hermaphrodites.

That’s where Kimera comes in. Kimera’s that very hermaphrodite. He/she/whatever isn’t too keen on being sliced up, hooked up to hoses, and turned into a mechanized womb. So she ditches Vampire World and runs off to Earth. Her eunuch brothers follow. One of them wants to kill her because being a vampire is terrible because it means you gotta eat meat and shit. The other one is evil because he’s ugly and also wants to perpetuate his race at the cost of every human being on Earth. Not much middle ground here. It’s either total vegan or genocide. Maybe they’re making some sort of anti-carnivore statement here.

Vampires run away to Earth. Kimera has a meet cute with a Japanese traveling cereal salesman who just happens to work in the USA. Their love knows no bounds, blahblah.  Although Kimera thinks Mr. Cereal here is her neutered brother, so there’s this whole incestuous thing going on. But it’s OK because she just thinks the dude’s her brother. The other vampires fight, they both die, and despite being told that having sex with Kimera will lead to the end of the world, Mr. Cereal runs off with her anyway. The End.

Pretty tame for this era of OVA. It has your standard sort of love story, your standard super-powered fighting, and your standard haphazard plot with plenty of holes to fill in. It even has plenty of hot tentacle action and awkwardly inserted sex scenes. But it has enough going for it to keep it from feeling repetitive. I liked how the lead character and his American buddy were cereal salesmen. It’s one of those quirky “where the hell did this idea come from” bits that keeps everything from feeling completely droll. This guy whose actions could define the fate of Earth shills mascot-laden breakfast shit. That’s cool. And I dug how it ended with the two of them driving off into the sunset on a deserted desert road after stopping off at one of those “last stop” gas stations. It’s the sort of closing moment that you only see in bad sci-fi movies from this era.

And any anime that ends with someone essentially saying “You know what? Fuck you. I love this pansexual alien and I don’t give a damn if it means everyone else on Earth is gonna die” can’t be all bad.

So yeah, nothing spectacular, but definitely worth watching if you dig this era of anime. It isn’t nearly as definitive as, say, California Crisis or Ninja Scroll, but it’s fun.