The latest episode of Chuunibyou. Episode Six. The boy’s girl ranking scheme is exposed! The main dud’s buddy takes the fall! Tears are shed! Heads are shaved!
Yeah. It was good stuff. Might be the best episode of the series thus far. But that’s about all there is to say about that episode. “It was good.” Nope, we’re gonna dip back into my sordid high school years for yet another tale of my own teenaged delusions.
My senior year of high school was kinda whacked. I pretty much slacked off the whole year. I was in AP classes and Gifted/Talented classes all throughout high school, but I rarely did my homework and squeaked by with B-minusish grades by nailing the tests and shit. That got even worse during my senior year. One of my classes was largely project-based, where I had to turn in massive folders of stories and essays and shit. Yeah, my classwork was homework– the sort of stuff meant to prepare you for college. That didn’t go over well with my “do no work, play video games at home, then do awesome on the tests” strategy. Hell, I slacked off in my creative writing class, and that was something I enjoyed.
But that wasn’t the only distraction I had during my senior year. The summer prior to that, I flew out to California to hang out with an old buddy of mine. While I was there I found a copy of the Principia Discordia at a RPG shop. It looked amusing, so I bought it along with some actual gaming stuff. I read that thing, and I slowly started to buy into it. Now mind you, Discordianism is a joke religion. No one actually believes there’s a Goddess of Discord out there doing crazy shit. It’s all a joke, but it’s a philosophy of the absurd. It’s something like Daoism, except it’s decidedly more cynical at its core. I read this thing, and it resonated with me on some primal level. It’s dicking around with you, but it’s profound dickery.
I really took its irreverence to heart, and that started to reflect in how I did things. My innate slacker mentality (Yeah, I was all but the poster child for that 90s slacker cliché.) was given philosophical legitimacy. I went from “yeah, I don’t wanna do this” to “no, I shouldn’t do this” when it came to all that school shit that helps you graduate. I eventually snapped to and crammed a hell of a lot of stuff in during the last six weeks or so of school and never actually risked not graduating, but this book had a profound effect on how my senior year played out.
And that’s not the half of it. The Principia Discordia didn’t just influence my work ethic, it affected my social life. Up until my senior year, I didn’t really hang out with anyone. There were a few kids from the school band who I’d talk with and who would join in with me on the occasional RP session at lunch, but most of my actual, legitimate, “this is who I hang with” friends went to other schools. It wasn’t a matter of me being isolated or picked on or anything. I simply chose not to associate with people at school. I was an anti-social brat.
That all changed during my senior year. I had a strange little circle of friends. I introduced them to that Principia Discordia shit. They were amused. We started writing our own little book. It was called The Book of Satan Bear or something ridiculous like that. It was named after some cheesy pen I bought at a drug store that had a black bear on the lid. He was our mascot. The book consisted of my inane ramblings in poem form, drawings, and bad sex jokes that were only funny the moment after you wrote them. This circle consisted of me, another senior, and a bunch of underclassmen who hung on our every word. It was akin to having your own little freshman cult or something, except everyone knew it was all a big joke.
So I effectively wrote my own Mabinogion, had my own servant, and basically went around campus like the kids in Chuunibyou. We even had our own code names, although for the life of me I can’t remember what mine was. I do remember that one of the guys went by Trash Can, because one day he tossed a classmate into a trash can.
Yeah. Chuunibyou’s pretty much my autobiography, except there were no girls in our group. That’s Chuunibyou’s greatest lie. This shit doesn’t gain you a harem. You’re pretty much drinking female-repelling Kool-Aid.